What I can't work out is why this was such a disaster. I absolutely 100% followed the recipe to the dot. However I worked from the recipe in How To Be A Domestic Goddess which specified 8 gelatin leaves, and today during my online search for what went wrong I found the same recipe on Nigella's website except this recipe called for 15 gelatin leaves. Interesting, very interesting. I can now assume that the online freebie version is best, and the version in the book that costs money and takes effort to acquire is a dud. I have heard other people bemoan quantity inaccuracies in Nigella's recipes before but until today I had cooked away at them unscathed.
A minute after I took this photograph of my jelly it did a massive surge towards the edge of the plate and about a quarter of it oozed onto the bench. I've poured the remainder* back into the mold and it's sitting in the fridge while I work out what to do with it. I thought possibly a trifle, but then the idea of gin and tonic with lemon curd and vanilla cake sounds kind of repulsive, and that was the best combination I could come up with.
Thank the lord for my best friend Smitten Kitchen. I now have a caramel cake in the oven baking and filling the house with delicious smells. Maybe the jelly will be weekend breakfasts, which sounds like the sort of thing Oscar Wilde might have eaten before hanging out in opium dens for the rest of the day. Glamour.
*Minus a cup I had for afternoon tea because you need a stiff drink when your dessert fails at the last minute.
UPDATE: We ended up eating the jelly as a pre-dessert item, possibly what they call a palate cleanser? It was delicious delicious delicious. But extremely potent to the point that I went bright red and had to have a little lie down on the couch afterwards. But we all know I am a lightweight, everyone else was just fine.